I can`t take it anymore !!

My co-worker is a real pain in the neck. I really dont know how to deal with him. He acts smart when he's not. He would present my ideas as his own. He would minimize and lower whatever I do, while, he makes a big deal of everything he does.If he didnt understand something and I explain it to him, he would play with the words and make it look like he got it all along and I was the one who's lost and didnt understand. Urrghhh! I'm just gonna write down some of scenarios. HELP ME!!

1st scenario:

Moo (my co-worker) is in my office dicussing some work issues. I'm sitting behind my desk, talking to him while typing some stuff. And the office phone rings,,

Cuteberry: Aloo , hala
CEO: hala Cuteberry.. esh9aar 3ala el-project, ako updates?
Cuteberry: yes, blah blah blah (talking about the project and issues we're having)
CEO: ahha ok, take care of it o update me
Cuteberry: enshalla Bo flan.

Moo now looks at me saying "ohhhh eshfeeh shad 7ailaaa.. ma 3enda salfaa 9a7? eshyaby? "

This just pisses me off.. First of all, (and am not bragging or anything) bs its true, the CEO always checks up with me on stuff. Whenever this happenes Moo would talk about him like an idiot lost CEO.. If its his opinion.. I dont care & would respect it. But why?!?! why is it that when the CEO calls him for whatever. He would walk around telling everyone that the CEO called him and act like he's the CEO right arm. Grow up!! Its not a show-off contest!


2nd scenrio:

(note that the work topic will be subtituted with a silly topic just so you would follow up and understand what am going through..)

Moo: Agool Cuteberry, Kuwait flag has green color? Coz am not quiet sure..
Cuteberry: yes green on top. Red on bottom
Moo: laaa laa entay emthay3aaa .. its the opposite... Red on top mo green...
Cuteberry: am 100% sure its Green on top.. eshfeeek ?
Moo: Green was never on top. Its Red on top.
Cuteberry: Always green on top & before that it was ALL red..
Moo: Yes true... It was All red o now maskeen Red is at the bottom..
Cuteberry: Huh? Tawik tgool Red was on top.
Moo: Ana? No way! Everybody knows its Green on top and Red on bottom. Bs you are not getting it. Ma adree shfeech..
Cuteberry: *no comment*

He always do that. I keep ignoring and I try not to let it get into me. Sometimes, I succeed but most of the times it really annoys me!!

3rd scenario:

The phone rings and its Moo.. I pick up

Moo: Cuteberry, plz come to my office.
Cuteberry: am working on something. Is it urgent?
Moo: yes yes. come now!! bye

I wrap up what I was doin and walk to his office..

Cuteberry: so, what is it?
Moo: hmm laa bs i wanted to ask you.. What project were u working on?
Cuteberry: You could've asked me that on the phone!!! and I WAS working on it and then u called ..
Moo: eee ok laaa khalas 3ayal go finish up ur work... I dont want to waste your time.
Cuteberry: *no comment*


I really dont know how to deal with him.. I do like my job but he really annoys me. I'm going crazy crazy crazy... I cant wait til he goes on a vacation, which is 10 days from today. It would be MY vacation as well. I need him off my back yaaaaay :>